List Week- Wednesday

A list of things to make the ministry better:

1. Show up to work. It’s no secret between Kate and I that I am a remarkably lazy Youth Pastor, but lately my laziness has resulted in some pretty disabling depression. It’s like this strange desire to just not wake up in the morning or do anything productive. I’ve felt it before but not in a while and this time I feel like I need to just nip it in the bud… whatever that means.

2. Give God all of it. I am a super controlling person, which you will learn more about on Monday when we talk about Spiritual Dieting. My desire for control, especially when I feel like I’m sick or somehow not doing my best, is a deep-rooted neurosis. Ministry requires that I give that up, and at this point if I don’t then I will likely find myself in such a stagnant rut that it will take a lot to get out.

3. Rely on others. Not to do work for me but to take ownership of the ministry as well. My friends and family and obviously my fiancé all are great sources of creative and excitement which are the two things that I am missing most when I hit these depressive ruts.

4. Pray continually. It sickens me that my first response when I feel off or ill is to say, “well what am I doing wrong?” The answer to this question typically ends with me doing something that the Internet told me was a good solution. Oh, you’re feeling depressed, go outside and walk around… ok, now what? Oh, drink more water. Really? Drink water? That’s the advice you have? Well get over it Mr. Depressy-pants, life is worse for other people. Great. Now I’m thinking about starving kids in Africa and I just feel worse… I need prayer. I need advice from the creator and that should be my first response. When I feel off I should say, “Lord what is your will? Please give me motivation and focus to accomplish what You wish of me.”

5. Take risks. Or should I say, take leaps of faith? I can feel my heart crying out for adventure (no, I’m not referencing John Eldridge) and for some reason I don’t pursue it. Instead I watch Let’s Make a Deal… that is what I substitute Christ’s desires for me with? Really?

6. Forgive. Forgive others when they don’t meet my expectations and forgive myself when I don’t meet my expectations. There’s nothing worse than the circular logic that comes with depression, you end up saying stuff like “if only I weren’t depressed then I wouldn’t feel so damn depressed.” Forgiveness helps break that cycle.

7. Worship God. David style. Just don’t come a knockin’ on my door between the hours of 10 PM and Midnight cause I will be David-ing it up, let me tell ya.

8. Laugh.