List Week- Thursday

An utterly pointless list of pointless things:

1. Pandas are not as cute as Red Pandas.

2. Red Pandas are not as cute as St. Bernards or Bernese Mountain Dogs

3. I wish I could own a pet otter.

4. Male cat genitalia reminds me of the space ships from Independence Day

5. I wrote an essay in Elementary school about racism where my thesis was “you can’t pick on black kids because they’re cooler than us.”

6. I also wrote a parody of Animorphs called “Cleanamorphs” where teens where given the power to change into liquids and if you touch alcohol you would be drunk for the rest of your life like Tobias was stuck being an Eagle… stupid Tobias.

7. I miss sixth grade.

8. I miss eighth grade.

9. No part of me misses any part of seventh grade.

10. Is that really how you spell eighth? It looks funny.

11. I once asked my mom how to spell “the” (pronounce thugh instead of thee) and I said “I know how to spell the just not how to spell thugh”… stupid English.

12. Swings are my favorite.

13. Actually Kate is my favorite and swings are in a close second.

14. There are plenty of things that are actually higher on my list of things than swings.

15. I also really enjoy kites and Frisbees (in that order)

16. My mind has reverted back to being in sixth grade, sorry.

17. If you’ve read 17 of these points then you deserve an award, ask for one in the comments and I will send it to you.

18. If you’ve read 18 then you have forfeited your reward.

19. The most memorable story I’ve ever read was actually about pickled pig lips.

20. Hipsters steal all their ideas from my friends and me. They need to stop.